Original: There is actually a series of dunbar numbers. On page 2, where he starts to break down the numbers he groups it as 150 people, then 50, then 15 then 5. As the number decreases, usually your closeness to the people in the group would increase. That’s where the rule of three comes in. The first people being the ones you’d invite to a large party, then a large dinner, then people you look to for sympathy and lastly the people you are most intimate with. Each social group or dunbar number usually increases/decreases in multiples of 3. He describes the rule of three as a “precise formula.”
Revised: The Dunbar Number(s), created by psychologist/anthropologist Robin Dunbar, is a series of numbers describing the amount of people the average person could have in varying social groups. Following the Dunbar Number is the rule of three, Dunbar describes the rule of three as a precise formula in which each of the social groups increases or decreases in multiples of 3. On page 2, Dunbar starts to break down the numbers, describing it as 150 people who we’d call casual friends, 50 people who we’d call close friends, 15 people who you would be a shoulder to cry on and then finally 5 people who would be your closest support group. As the group gets smaller, Dunbar claims that your relationships become stronger because those are the people you are giving the most of your time to.
As I was revising my original paragraph I tried to focus on being a little more specific the second time around. In class the other day we fixed examples of sentences that needed more description so that’s what I did with each of my own sentences. None of my original sentences were that great, being honest. So in the revised paragraph I started by describing who Robin Dunbar was. It’s kind of funny that I didn’t do that originally because who really knows who Dunbar is just off the top of their head. I wouldn’t know at least. I also added a little more description to what each of the different numbers means and then combined a few sentences into longer goods ones. Overall I just tried to add a little more context to my writing without lengthening it too much.
